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his manner was controlled, though unmistakably harsh. They had
finished their lunch. The children, who were now on the long
summer holiday, were staying for a few days with Vasilios and
Asmena. So Helen was alone in the sitting-room when Leon came to
her. She was reading and, without warning, he took the book from
her and flung it on the table.
'I want an explanation, Helen. I think I'm entitled to one, don't you?'
'Explanation?' Why did she have to tremble? He could not harm her.
'I don't know what you mean, Leon.' 'No?' He stood over her, his
eyes darkening with a slowly rising anger. But his manner remained
controlled. 'Can you deny that a change has come over you? Can
you deny that you no longer - want me?'
'Want?' Her chin lifted. 'I've never wanted you
'Don't lie! For a short while we were happy, What happened, that's
what I want to know? - what I demand to know! Changes like this
don't occur without good reason. Tell me the reason and we can
discuss it, resolve any differences between us.'
His words merely had the effect of bringing a bitter curve to her
lips, and of increasing the contempt she had come to feel for him.
Resolve their differences? The coolness of him, demanding an
explanation when he was quite outrageously having an affair with
his former girlfriend. She would tell him, and risk the consequences
Her thoughts were suddenly checked. She had let him see her love
... and he had secretly gloated over his victory. By forcing her to
love him he had achieved his desire, that of ensuring her
reciprocation. He had desired her love for no other reason. If she
told him the truth now he would naturally believe she still loved
him, and would conclude that the change in her was the result of
hurt and disillusionment. That was not the impression with which
she wanted to leave him, far from it. No, why should she tell him?
While he was kept guessing his ego would continue to suffer.
'I still don't understand you,' she began lightly. 'Our marriage was
contracted without love on either side. We get along tolerably well,
Leon, I can't see you have any complaint.'
His eyes became like sharpened steel.
'You haven't answered my question. What has brought about this
sudden change in you?'
'What change?' she asked. So cool and calm her voice, but... oh-
how her heart throbbed!
'Don't you play with me! Answer me, or I'll shake you till you do!'
He was standing so close, and his fists clenched and unclenched, as
if he were itching to carry out his threat. 'You loved me, for a little
while '
'Loved you?' Despite her fear she could not allow those words to
pass without interruption. He must be made to believe she had never
loved him, but how? She played for time as she said, 'How have you
reached a conclusion like that? I've just said there was love on
neither side '
'When we married, yes, I agree. But you did learn to love me. I'm
not a fool, Helen, I know you loved me. If , you hadn't you could
never have - have....' He seemed unable to voice his thoughts, and
Helen supplied, with a calmness that amazed her,
'Responded to your love-making?' She was overwhelmed with the
desire to hit back, to make him suffer, not only for what he himself
had done to her, but also for what Gregory had done to her. And
those calmly uttered words gave her the idea. 'But that? - surely you
don't attach any importance to it, Leon. There needn't be love, but
it's far more pleasant to have it that way, don't you agree?' The angry
colour, slowly appearing in his dark countenance, the swift
compression of his mouth and the steely glint in his eyes, these
should have warned her, but for a brief moment she was blind to
danger, blind to everything except the desire to hurt him, or rather,
to hurt his pride, for she was convinced that with a man as heartless
as this, his pride was the only thing that could be hurt. 'As regards
this change you say you've noticed - well, one can't always be
consistent when it's an act. Besides, one tends to become bored....'
Helen tailed off and for a while there was no sound, except for the
incessant chirping of the cicadas drifting in through the open door of
the verandah. But the silence was so frightening that she rose
unsteadily to her feet and attempted to reach the door. Leon's grip
enclosed her wrist, bringing her back with a jerk that sent a pain
right through her shoulder.
'So that was all it was? A convincing act is that what you're
telling me?'
'Leon, you're hurting me '
'Answer my question, or I'll ' But he seemed unable to control
himself another moment and he shook her unmercifully. 'An act,
you say! Well, mark my words, you'll live to regret it. No woman
makes that sort of fool of me and gets away with it!' He towered
above her, his merciless grip still on her arms. All colour had left
Helen's face and her whole body trembled from his rough handling
of her. He wasn't human, she thought, recalling that she had once
before reached this conclusion. But through the cloud of fear that
enveloped her brain emerged the sure knowledge that she had
achieved her object. He honestly believed himself to have been
deceived, believed she had merely been acting a part - had even
been bored at times with his lovemaking. What a blow to his pride
that must be! Let him shake her, let him vent his entire fury on her -
it was worth it to have this revenge on him. Nevertheless, she still
trembled and she did wonder what he meant by saying she would
live to regret it.
She looked up and swiftly lowered her head again. His lips were
drawn back in a snarl and for one terrifying moment she expected to
be subjected to his primitive cruelty again, but to her astonishment
and relief he suddenly flung her from him and strode from the room.
A few moments later she heard the car door slam, then the noise of
the engine fading as the car proceeded down the hill.
Where had he gone? No need to ask that. Helen sat down on the
chair and put her face in her hands. She still trembled and her heart
was beating so loudly that she could actually hear it. The house was
so quiet.... Arate and Nikos never worked on Sunday afternoons,
and suddenly Helen felt an urge to leave the house, felt she could
not bear to be alone in it. Where could she go? If only she had
known she would have kept the children at home. For the first time
she was conscious of being a long way from her friends, from those
few people who would gladly have opened their doors to her,
sincere in their welcome. Here she had no one, no one except her
husband's relations, and Trudy. But she could not bring herself to go
to the flat, for Trudy must instantly guess that something was
wrong. And yet there was nowhere else. ...
Robert was some time answering the phone and, on learning she had
brought him down from the little studio he had built for himself on
the roof, Helen hastily apologized.
That's all right,' he returned breezily. 'I was intending ringing you
later. That Englishman - Mr. Crawley - has sent me a key to the
house and asked me to contact you. He wants us to get started right
away as he's hoping to move in by the autumn.' A slight pause and
then, 'I don't suppose you're free now? I could come over if you are; [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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his manner was controlled, though unmistakably harsh. They had
finished their lunch. The children, who were now on the long
summer holiday, were staying for a few days with Vasilios and
Asmena. So Helen was alone in the sitting-room when Leon came to
her. She was reading and, without warning, he took the book from
her and flung it on the table.
'I want an explanation, Helen. I think I'm entitled to one, don't you?'
'Explanation?' Why did she have to tremble? He could not harm her.
'I don't know what you mean, Leon.' 'No?' He stood over her, his
eyes darkening with a slowly rising anger. But his manner remained
controlled. 'Can you deny that a change has come over you? Can
you deny that you no longer - want me?'
'Want?' Her chin lifted. 'I've never wanted you
'Don't lie! For a short while we were happy, What happened, that's
what I want to know? - what I demand to know! Changes like this
don't occur without good reason. Tell me the reason and we can
discuss it, resolve any differences between us.'
His words merely had the effect of bringing a bitter curve to her
lips, and of increasing the contempt she had come to feel for him.
Resolve their differences? The coolness of him, demanding an
explanation when he was quite outrageously having an affair with
his former girlfriend. She would tell him, and risk the consequences
Her thoughts were suddenly checked. She had let him see her love
... and he had secretly gloated over his victory. By forcing her to
love him he had achieved his desire, that of ensuring her
reciprocation. He had desired her love for no other reason. If she
told him the truth now he would naturally believe she still loved
him, and would conclude that the change in her was the result of
hurt and disillusionment. That was not the impression with which
she wanted to leave him, far from it. No, why should she tell him?
While he was kept guessing his ego would continue to suffer.
'I still don't understand you,' she began lightly. 'Our marriage was
contracted without love on either side. We get along tolerably well,
Leon, I can't see you have any complaint.'
His eyes became like sharpened steel.
'You haven't answered my question. What has brought about this
sudden change in you?'
'What change?' she asked. So cool and calm her voice, but... oh-
how her heart throbbed!
'Don't you play with me! Answer me, or I'll shake you till you do!'
He was standing so close, and his fists clenched and unclenched, as
if he were itching to carry out his threat. 'You loved me, for a little
while '
'Loved you?' Despite her fear she could not allow those words to
pass without interruption. He must be made to believe she had never
loved him, but how? She played for time as she said, 'How have you
reached a conclusion like that? I've just said there was love on
neither side '
'When we married, yes, I agree. But you did learn to love me. I'm
not a fool, Helen, I know you loved me. If , you hadn't you could
never have - have....' He seemed unable to voice his thoughts, and
Helen supplied, with a calmness that amazed her,
'Responded to your love-making?' She was overwhelmed with the
desire to hit back, to make him suffer, not only for what he himself
had done to her, but also for what Gregory had done to her. And
those calmly uttered words gave her the idea. 'But that? - surely you
don't attach any importance to it, Leon. There needn't be love, but
it's far more pleasant to have it that way, don't you agree?' The angry
colour, slowly appearing in his dark countenance, the swift
compression of his mouth and the steely glint in his eyes, these
should have warned her, but for a brief moment she was blind to
danger, blind to everything except the desire to hurt him, or rather,
to hurt his pride, for she was convinced that with a man as heartless
as this, his pride was the only thing that could be hurt. 'As regards
this change you say you've noticed - well, one can't always be
consistent when it's an act. Besides, one tends to become bored....'
Helen tailed off and for a while there was no sound, except for the
incessant chirping of the cicadas drifting in through the open door of
the verandah. But the silence was so frightening that she rose
unsteadily to her feet and attempted to reach the door. Leon's grip
enclosed her wrist, bringing her back with a jerk that sent a pain
right through her shoulder.
'So that was all it was? A convincing act is that what you're
telling me?'
'Leon, you're hurting me '
'Answer my question, or I'll ' But he seemed unable to control
himself another moment and he shook her unmercifully. 'An act,
you say! Well, mark my words, you'll live to regret it. No woman
makes that sort of fool of me and gets away with it!' He towered
above her, his merciless grip still on her arms. All colour had left
Helen's face and her whole body trembled from his rough handling
of her. He wasn't human, she thought, recalling that she had once
before reached this conclusion. But through the cloud of fear that
enveloped her brain emerged the sure knowledge that she had
achieved her object. He honestly believed himself to have been
deceived, believed she had merely been acting a part - had even
been bored at times with his lovemaking. What a blow to his pride
that must be! Let him shake her, let him vent his entire fury on her -
it was worth it to have this revenge on him. Nevertheless, she still
trembled and she did wonder what he meant by saying she would
live to regret it.
She looked up and swiftly lowered her head again. His lips were
drawn back in a snarl and for one terrifying moment she expected to
be subjected to his primitive cruelty again, but to her astonishment
and relief he suddenly flung her from him and strode from the room.
A few moments later she heard the car door slam, then the noise of
the engine fading as the car proceeded down the hill.
Where had he gone? No need to ask that. Helen sat down on the
chair and put her face in her hands. She still trembled and her heart
was beating so loudly that she could actually hear it. The house was
so quiet.... Arate and Nikos never worked on Sunday afternoons,
and suddenly Helen felt an urge to leave the house, felt she could
not bear to be alone in it. Where could she go? If only she had
known she would have kept the children at home. For the first time
she was conscious of being a long way from her friends, from those
few people who would gladly have opened their doors to her,
sincere in their welcome. Here she had no one, no one except her
husband's relations, and Trudy. But she could not bring herself to go
to the flat, for Trudy must instantly guess that something was
wrong. And yet there was nowhere else. ...
Robert was some time answering the phone and, on learning she had
brought him down from the little studio he had built for himself on
the roof, Helen hastily apologized.
That's all right,' he returned breezily. 'I was intending ringing you
later. That Englishman - Mr. Crawley - has sent me a key to the
house and asked me to contact you. He wants us to get started right
away as he's hoping to move in by the autumn.' A slight pause and
then, 'I don't suppose you're free now? I could come over if you are; [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]