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176 / Christopher Moore
 I shook my head.  I ve been in seminary. I d forgotten. We don t
have any need for money there and& 
  I have some traveling money, she said.
  I couldn t ask you to do that, I said. Then I remembered the
candlesticks.  Look, you can have these. They re worth a lot of
money. Hold them and I ll send you the money for the ticket when
I get home, I said.
 I unrolled the blanket and dropped the candlesticks in her lap.
  That s not necessary, she said.  I ll loan you the money.
  No, I insist you take them, I said, trying to be gallant. I must
have looked ridiculous standing there in my overalls and tattered
suit jacket.
  If you insist, she said.  I understand. My fiancé is a proud man,
too.
 She gave me the money I needed and I bought a ticket all the
way to Clarion, which was only about ten miles from my parent s
farm.
 The train broke down somewhere in Indiana and we were forced
to wait in the station while they changed engines. It was midsummer
and terribly hot. Without thinking, I took off my jacket and Amanda
gasped when she saw my back. She insisted that I see a doctor, but
I refused, knowing that I would only have to borrow more money
from her to pay for it. We sat on a bench in the station while she
cleaned my back with damp napkins from the dining car.
 In those days the sight of a woman bathing a half-naked man in
a train station would have been scandalous, but most of the passen-
gers were soldiers and were much more concerned with being
AWOL or with their ultimate destination, Europe, so we were ig-
nored for the most part.
 Amanda disappeared for a while and returned just before our
train was ready to leave.  I ve reserved a berth in the sleeping car
for us, she said.
 I was shocked. I started to protest, but she stopped me. She said,
 You are going to sleep and I am going to watch over you. You are
a priest and I m engaged, so there is nothing wrong with it. Besides,
you are in no shape to spend the night sitting up in a train.
Practical Demonkeeping / 177
 I think it was then that I realized that I was in love with her. Not
that it mattered. It was just that after living so long with Father
Jasper s abuse I wasn t prepared for the kindness she was showing
me. It never occurred to me that I might be putting her in danger.
 As we pulled away from the station, I looked out on the platform,
and for the first time I saw Catch in his smaller form. Why it
happened then and not before I don t know. Maybe I didn t have
any strength left, but when I saw him there on the platform, flashing
a big razor-toothed grin, I fainted.
 When I came to, I felt like my back was on fire. I was lying in the
sleeping berth and Amanda was bathing my back with alcohol.
  I told them you d been wounded in France, she said.  The
porter helped me get you in here. I think it s about time you told me
who did this to you.
 I told her what Father Jasper had done, leaving out the parts
about the demon. I was in tears when I finished, and she was holding
me, rocking me back and forth.
 I m not sure how it happened the passion of the moment and
all that, I guess but the next thing I knew, we were kissing, and I
was undressing her. Just as we were about to make love she stopped
me.
  I have to take this off, she said. She was wearing a wooden
bracelet with the initials E + A burnt into it.  We don t have to do
this, I said.
 Have you, Mr. Brine, ever said something that you know you
will always regret? I have. It was:  We don t have to do this.
 She said:  Oh, then let s not.
 She fell asleep holding me while I lay awake, thinking about sex
and damnation, which really wasn t any different from what I d
thought about each night in the seminary a little more immediate,
I guess.
 I was just dozing off when I heard a commotion coming from
the opposite end of our sleeping car. I peeked through the curtains
of the berth to see what was happening. Catch was coming down
the aisle, looking into berths as he went. I didn t know at the time
that Catch was invisible to other people, and I couldn t understand
why they weren t screaming at the sight of him. People were
shouting
178 / Christopher Moore
and looking out of their berths, but all they were seeing was empty
air.
 I grabbed my overalls and jumped into the aisle, leaving my
jacket and the candlesticks in the berth with Amanda. I didn t even
thank her. I ran down the aisle toward the back of the car, away
from Catch. As I ran, I could hear him yelling,  Why are you running?
Don t you know the rules?
 I went through the door between the cars and slid it shut behind
me. By now people were screaming, not out of fear of Catch, but
because a naked man was running through the sleeping car.
 I looked into the next car and saw the conductor coming down
the aisle toward me. Catch was almost to the door behind me.
Without thinking, or even looking, I opened the door to the outside
and leapt off the train, naked, my overalls still in hand.
 The train was on a trestle at the time and it was a long drop to
the ground, fifty or sixty feet. By all rights I should have been killed.
When I hit, the wind was knocked out of me and I remember
thinking that my back was broken, but in seconds I was up and
running through a wooden valley. I didn t realize until later that I
had been protected by my pact with the demon, even through he
was not under my control at the time. I don t really know the extent
of his protection, but I ve been in a hundred accidents since then
that should have killed me and come out without a scratch.
 I ran through the woods until I came to a dirt road. I had no idea
where I was. I just walked until I couldn t walk anymore and then
sat down at the side of the road. Just after sunup a rickety wagon
pulled up beside me and the farmer asked me if I was all right. In
those days it wasn t uncommon to see a barefoot kid in overalls by
the side of the road.
 The farmer informed me that I was only about twenty miles from
home. I told him that I was a student on holiday, trying to hitchhike
home, and he offered to drive me. I fell asleep in the wagon. When
the farmer woke me, we were stopped at the gate of my parents
farm. I thanked him and walked up the road toward the house.
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